June 27, 2008

The blaring red numbers of my alarm clock stung my eyes as I woke from another night full of tremors.  The sweat that had beaded on my forehead began to evaporate as I flung the thick blankets off my chest and focused more intently on the blaze-colored letters.  4:11. Quickly gazing out the window, I came to find that the dawn was beginning to break.  From my computer desk, an incessant beeping caught my attention.

With a few cautious steps, I'd found my way across the dark confines of my room, and was stumbling into my computer chair.  My hands fumbled around for a moment before the familiar texture of my cell phone grazed my fingertips.  Tugging the charger out, I clicked open to a voicemail that had been left three hours before.  As I listened, my heart sped up in fury.  How dare he act like such an ass to me.

My computer monitor blinked to life after a small nudge to the mouse.  My familiar homepage appeared and I quickly logged in.  Just as I had suspected, red letters indicated that Calvin had made more effort to get a hold of me.   I merely requested he call me once more, and crawled back into bed to wait.  When my easily recognizable ringtone signaled a call, I answered without hesitance, his voice seemed to come as a strong comfort.

The call didn’t last long.  It started calm, and broke to curses without restraint.  After the line went dead, my computer was a last chance.  The IM on my screen, from Cal, agreed.

Sinking to the floor of my bedroom, the tears flooded my cheeks.  He had promised that I won against her.  Absolutely promised.  My chest throbbed, and it felt like my heart had literally been snapped in two.  Never once in my life had I felt such a pain.  Not even when I’d been cheated on my boyfriend of nearly seven months.

Crawling back into my bed, I sobbed, the week with Cal running through my mind 100 times.  With each sob, my cheat heaved, and the pain continued to increase with great force.  I felt like I was going to die, that the next breath I took, would be my last.  It was 6:15 when I finally looked at my phone again, I wasn’t sure how to time had gone so fast.  My phone vibrated lightly in my hand to signify my daily weather report had arrived.  It was then that I called Tabby.  I didn’t want her to worry if she didn’t hear from me for a few days.  The message was short, and so was Tami’s.  I then left my bedroom, wondering the hallway to the bathroom for a brief look at myself.  I look shallow, and broken.  Before I did another thing, I knew that I needed to be in my room, in my bed.  The tears were coming. 

As I walked down the hall once more, the sight changing slightly as my eyes glazed over with fresh tears, I dialed my ex-boyfriend, as well as my best friend.  As the phone began to ring, I collapsed.  My bedroom sat in front of me, my room still as a frigid night, for I had left it settled and drenched with sadness.

When  a female’s voice sang clear to me, I startled myself into sounding somewhat alive.

The line went silent then, so I rolled back to face my postered wall, salty tears forcing themselves out of my eyes and down my already tear-streaked cheeks.

There wasn't a person in the world that could deny the love that Frank and Gerard shared.  All the people that knew them thought it would be a forever thing, that is, until the shooting.  He'd been minding his own business, walking home from a typical day in his art studio down at the corner of Mayberry and Jackson.  A simple phone call rung through as he walked, and seeing the love of his life's number pop up as the callerID, he answered, perky voiced.
"Gerard, baby, I miss you, when're you going to be home?"
"I'm on my way now, sweetie.  Getting ready to cross to our street."
"Alright, baby, I'll see you soon then.?"
"Yes, I can see our house.."
"Okay.."
"Goodbye, sweetie."
"Gerard?"
"Yes. Frank?"
"I love you, baby.  Please be careful."
"I love you too, I will."  And with that, they hung up their phones, the last words ever spoken to each being the ones of love, truth, and eternal devotion.

Frank's POV

    It wasn't something I had expected to happen, I guess you just never think that the person you love is going to get shot on a normal walk home from his leisurely day in the art studio that you bought together for his happiness.  I had been sitting in the living room of our house, flipping through the channels of the television, waiting for his smiling face to walk in the front door and just embrace me.  Sometimes thinking things like that made me feel like a bit of a pansy, but I loved the man and nothing would ever change that.  Not even what happened in those seconds to come.
"FAGGOT!" I'd heard someone scream, then the gunshot.  My first thought that it was just two gangs going at it again, afterall, Gerard and I didn't live in any high income housing.  Perfect middle class.  So things like gang fights weren't completely uncommon.
    "Frank.."  Mumbled, seemingly slightly dazed and desperate words.  I could hear it from the inside of the house and I bolted for the door, to see Gerard, laying bloody on the front steps.
    "Oh baby…"  My eyes welled with tears, I didn't know what to do or where to turn.  His cell phone lay on the porch, beside a small black box.  I snatched the phone and through my tears and sniffles, managed to get the ambulance on its way.  My attention directed to the box as I held him and he motioned to it.  Opening it slowly, I began to sob, and right then, my would have been husband died in my arms.  Wailing sirens, and blinding lights turned onto the street, drawing attention from anyone and everyone that lived in an immediate 10 minutes of our home.
    I felt like a zombie as I held his hand and they loaded him into the back of the ambulance.  There was still hope for survival, at least, that's what the paramedic's continued to try to tell me.  I didn't believe a word of it, and just sobbed.  

    Hours later, I was in the arms of his mother, her tears on my shoulder and mine on hers.  She had rubbed my back and soothed that everything would be okay, each moment would pass with a little pain, but gradually all I would be was numb.  Reaching into my pocket for tissues, I felt the small box that had been retrieved earlier from Gerard's hand on our porch.  Pulling back from his mom, I showed it to her, and opening it, she gasped.  'Frank, you're my life, my world, and I would never do anything to hurt you.  I want to be with you forever, and to show my love and devotion to you. I give you this ring, I too shall wear one to symbolize the life and love we share.  There's nothing more I want then to grow old with you. Frank Anthony Iero, will you be my husband?'  And there sat the ring, a small silver hoop with 'Gerard' engraved on the inside of it.  Lifting the velvet that held the ring in place, I had found another, with my name on the inside.  It was only then that I realized how hard it was going to be for me to survive without him.  Forever.


Authors Note: I was attacked by a stink bug while writing this Preface. Haha.  But onto the important things;  I don't know how long it will take me to update this, but please by patient so that I may tend to the other fics, as well as, my schoolwork, job, and social life.  In addition, I don't know where this fic is going to go.  How long it will be, but I'm hoping that it strikes people as well as my old fic, Forbidden Love.  If in the case that it doesn't catch well, I may repost Forbidden Love as well as a story I've been writing that I favor quite nicely called If Tomorrow Ever Comes.  Please leave your comments, criticism and suggestions.

Current Music: Automatic Loveletter- Hush

A soft yellowish glow filled the night sky.  An a rough October wind whipping through the deserted streets.  Well, nearly deserted.  All but one person were inside their warm houses; the one and only soul that sat in the darkness was Frank.  He hadn’t been able to go home for almost a year.  His apartment, the one he had shared with his fiancée sat there idly.  Waiting for someone to return to it, but Frank simply couldn’t.  The guitarist had continued to pay the rent, just so that all his stuff remained there, untouched.  Since his fiancée died he hadn’t gone back, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  The wounds and heartache that he felt still hadn’t begun to heal.

Slowly and gradually he got up, walking towards the cemetery that he’d come to know so well; every night he would spend hours just sitting next to Gerard’s grave, sometimes even sleeping there.  He didn’t want to ever leave, but come morning light; he had to.  That night though; he wasn’t going to leave, he was determined to stay in that spot with Gerard forever.  He sunk down against the grave stone and kissed it briefly.  Tears rolling silently from his eyes, he pulled out his pocket knife and rolled up his sleeves, examining the scars he’d left there, trying to hide his pain.  Finally; he found an unscarred patch of skin and began to cut away at it, another failing attempt to make the pain simply leave.

Current Location: Bedroom
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Umbrella; Rhianna